40 years

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Our 40th anniversary…


People say Wow!, and ask, How did you do it? and, What words of wisdom do you have to say about 40 years of marriage?


I should have some wisdom, be able to say something profound. But, I don’t feel wise. I feel grateful. It is a living miracle, a lot of grace, many unexplained days turning into years. A gift.


All I have are thoughts. Some are mine, some belong to others, but they all have been turning around in my head recently. In no order at all; just thoughts.


  1. I love Ben more now than when I married him. When I married him, who I loved most was myself. Over the years the tables have turned. I love him more with every passing year.


2. I am glad we made it this far. It is so worth it.


3. I don’t know how we made it. The first years were bliss. The baby years are a blur. The years of my forties I have put in a folder all by themselves and chosen to file them away. 50 ‘s better, 60’s best.


4. Yes, now I remember. There is absolutely one word that increases marital longevity: forgiveness.


5. At a wedding a few weeks ago the minister was¬†wise and profound. One of the things he said:Chemistry gets you to the first date; biology gets you to the altar; it is theology that gets you to your anniversaries.” I couldn’t agree more.


5. All of our bad times in marriage came from bad times in life. When life went south, our marriage followed close behind.


6. Our legacy is our children and, I hope, our faith. We never gave our children a shellac-ed picture of marriage. They got the real deal. What I hope they learned… stay close to God, get over yourself, hang in there.


And a few other comments from Jen Hatmaker’s For the Love, ring very true:


Lighten up. So few issues are worth the argument. Married tongues should be shredded with the amount of ugly words bitten back.


Be nice. We should treat our husbands at least as nicely as we treat the crossing guard. Thank yous. Apologies. I am over all the drama; give me kindness any old day.


Stop trying to change each other. Every marriage includes two sinful, aggravating human beings. Grace is our only hope.



Here we are February 7, 1976 leaving our wedding and heading for…life.




And here is life today… All is well.



2 Responses to “40 years”

  1. Katy

    Feel it or not, you are wise and this new wife appreciates you sharing. Congrats on 40!

  2. Maria

    Happy Anniversary! God’s grace is amazing. I absolutely love reading about your love for Ben.

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